NY Giants Week 1 Review: First Step Down the Shit Slope

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NFL Football is back! The Giants have played exactly 1 game and we are already looking forward to the 2025 draft. Honestly, there is so much to say, I might as well say nothing. But advertisers don’t sponsor articles that say nothing, so I shall wipe the tears off my keyboard and write.

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A Roster that Wouldn’t Beat Clooney and the Leatherheads

Right from the jump there was 1 thing that was clear, in his 6th year in the NFL as a Quarterback, Daniel Jones cannot throw the football and a turtle could run a marathon in the time it takes him to read a defense. His brain is simply to slow to see the play. A traffic cone would have better pocket presence. Since he signed for $160m, the following Quarterbacks have thrown more TDs than him:

  • Sam Darnold
  • Easton Stick
  • Tyson Bagent
  • Mason Rudolph
  • Drew Lock
  • Tyler Huntley
  • Taylor Heincke

Daniel Jones has thrown more Pick-6’s than TD passes in that same time period. Let it sink in. We gave $160m to a QB that is a net negative on the field! There really isn’t much more to say about the offense specifically, it all starts with the QB. It doesn’t matter who else you have on the field.

It took a whopping 2 whole plays for the boos to start raining down in Metlife. But who were these boos really directed at? Daniel Jones, for being exactly who we expected him to be? Brian Daboll, for failing to prepare the team and show any improvement since he rolled up to the meadowlands in his Ford Raptor? Joe Schoen, for failing to build a close-to-average roster in 3 years, and drafting a WR 6OA in the deepest QB Draft in the decade? Or John Mara, for filling critical departments with his unqualified family members while brewing a rotten culture from the top down?

The boos were well deserved, and quite honestly, they let the players off easy. This team has been bad for so long they aren’t even worth the energy to boo loud, it’s just an obligation to fulfill. People at the game said you could hear skol chants by halftime. The frustration and anger has hit a breaking point and become apathy.

Fans even waited outside the parking lot to boo DJ on the walk to his car. To those fans I say this; you are scumbags that make Eagles fans look decent. While I disagree with how this anger was expressed I will agree that it is absolutely warranted. Next time they should try punching holes in their drywall after their 6 hour drive back to long island.

Naturally, Daniel Jones took his well deserved blame on the chin as he does after every stinker. The man can’t ball for shit but god damn is he humble. He has done everything expected of an NFL QB except be good at Football. We can demand the team move on, but remember that he is a human who has done everything he can. As his former teammate Janoris Jenkins eloquently put it, “Dan Dan the Doodoo Man, I love the guy, he’s just not NFL QB.”

Daniel’s teammates, however, simply don’t get it. These were Dexter’s comments after the game when asked about the booing:

“I don’t respect it honestly,” defensive captain Dexter Lawrence said. “I get it. They want to see their team win. It’s a rough patch. It just is what it is.”

A rough patch is when you accidentally dribble some piss on your khakis at work right before your big presentation. Being outscored 68-6 in your last 2 season openers (at home) and losing 7 of the last 8 is a total disaster. 0 week 1 home wins since 2010 (not a typo). When you look at specific stats, it only gets worse. Not even the best data scientists in the world can spin up a graph that makes this team look good.

Rough patch? You should go flip burgers with Evan Neal. Bring Thibs with you.


Play Calls from the Short Bus

Brian Daboll, what the hell was your plan? The team did not look prepared at all. The play calls were shit, only 3.5 avg attempt to pass. For being a “QB Whisperer”, Daniel Jones has only gotten worse since you rolled up here in your Raptor. We only had 1 pass attempt over 20yds, so one of Daboll or DJ is a huge pussy and scared to ball. Only 1 of them has the ability to correct the other. Justice for Kafka.

Shane Bowen said on Hard Knocks; “If we get Burns, anybody can play corner”. Well KT and Burns only combined for 4 tackles, pretty useless. McCloud is also injured and on IR, so we only got weaker at corner. And we got diced up by a journeyman backup in Sam Darnold. How would we be reacting if JJ put up those same numbers as a rookie? Because he most likely would have. Scoreboard speaks for itself in Bowen’s case. Wink was right (but also bad).

Positives from the coaching is that Carmen Bricillo actually had our O-Line looking competent. The added benefit of that is it finally exposed how bad Daniel Jones is, which further exposed the rest of the front offices incompetency that he’s here for a 6th season making 40 million dollars.

When Can we Stop Blaming Gettleman?

Joe Schmoen is the only GM in NFL History to sign a quarterback after not picking up their 5th year option. That quarterback is not good at football.

There is a long list of mistakes Joe Schoen has made since joining the franchise, but let’s look at the highlights:

  • Evan Neal
  • Kayvon Thibodeaux
  • Extending Daniel Jones
  • Letting Saquon go to the Eagles
  • Failing to draft a QB – in any round

There is no doubt that Schoen made some very bad decisions in constructing this roster. On Hard Knocks he said “I have to do what’s best for the franchise, not my job.” The best thing for both was drafting a quarterback (again, in any round) which he did not do. Our “QB Whisperer” has no talent to whisper to. So now that we know Daniel Jones is not the guy, Schoen will have no job security as he made his commitment. If he had drafted a QB, he could make a case to see through the fresh start. Combined with all his other decisions, it makes more sense to let the next GM find his guy.

Assuming a lot of these decisions also rest with Daboll, one has to wonder what he sees in DJ? Is DJ his white whale? Is he selfishly trying to prove to himself he can make him a good quarterback? Is Schoen standing by letting happen?

While he did not roll up in a Raptor, Schoen came here with Daboll. As they came here a package deal, one must wonder if they will depart the same way? Is Schoen capable of firing Daboll? As Hard Knocks showed, their wives are best friends going back to buffalo. Their personal lives very much intertwined. Is he willing to let that go? How much will he sacrifice for the success of this franchise? We need to ask these questions, as we’ve seen what a revolving door in the front office can do to a franchise. There is an equation where stability can sometimes override competency.

Nepotism and a Rotten Culture from the Top

Our player personnel department has been plagued with Mara’s nepotism hires for as long as I’ve been alive. Is there any wonder why we can’t scout, draft, develop, or retain good players? This is one of the few facts we can criticize Mara on.

It’s difficult to know what goes on behind the scenes without speculating or commiting crimes. How many decisions is Mara truly meddling in or overriding? We can say with absolute certainty that Mara has been the commonest denominator for an abysmal stretch of football.

“But wasn’t he the owner for 2 superbowls?!” Sure, but the reality is those teams and staff were inherited from the success of the George Young and Ernie Accorsi days. Outside of the roster, the organization was solid, add Eli and some good draft picks from Jerry Reese and you got a goood stew cookin’. But with the departure of Coughlin, and eventually Eli, all those people are now gone to greener pastures or dead. John Mara was left as the sole decisionmaker and our front office has been a revolving door and display of lunacy ever since.

Redditors are attempting to organize a letter writing campaign, it is our fanbases last hail mary. I will most likely print this article and mail it to him. It is obvious that the issues with this franchise start with ownership. While John Mara is an incompetent moron, he definitely cares about the fans and team (behind making money) and is known to read letters from fans. If enough people ask nicely, maybe he can find his George Young or be convinced to bring Belichik home. If we’re lucky, he might even sell the team! (lol)

What’s Next?

So if this stinker of a week 1 was our first step down the shit slope, what’s next? See below.

  • Lose to Washington, Cleveland, and Dallas back-to-back-to-back
  • Daniel Jones injury to destroy our cap
  • Another loss to Washington
  • A loss to Carolina in Munich, solidifying ourselves as the worst franchise in the league for both this season and this decade. Of course it will be on the international stage.
  • 4 garbage wins at the end of the season to lose the 1st overall draft pick and give us false hope for another offseason
  • Another regime change in the FO, while Mara’s nepotism hires stick around

Buckle up Giants fans, there’s a long road ahead, and we probably won’t like where its headed. On to 2025, bring Belichick home.

Bonus Reading:

David Syversten nailed his pre-draft analysis on DJ and KT. Go give this man some clicks.

2: Daniel Jones – Duke – 6’5/221

Grade: 80

Summary: Fourth year junior entry. A three year starter and two time team captain. Despite playing with inferior talent both up front and at the skill positions nearly every week, Jones put together a productive career as both a passer and rusher. The prototypical quarterback when it comes to size and playing style showed glimpses over the past two years of what a first round QB should look like. His NFL-caliber mechanics from head to toe give him the look of a professional passer and him being coached by David Cutcliffe, the college coach of both Peyton and Eli Manning, only helps strengthen the notion of how ready he is. Jones pairs that with toughness and grit that doesn’t come around often. However, there were constant red flags in his tape that are hard to ignore. He didn’t see things well and his decisions were too inconsistent. There just seemed to be a lack of a true feel for the pocket, the defense, and angles. Jones checks a lot of boxes but there is a lot of gamble in the team that takes him even though he comes across as a “safe” bet to some.

*I wanted to like Jones more than this, I really did. I have a thing for tough quarterbacks and I do think he brought his teammates to another level. That’s a trend that can really make a kid break out in the NFL. While I do have a 1st round grade on him and I do think he can be in play at 17 because of the position he plays, I think NYG may need to steer clear here. Jones has enough arm strength, touch, and athletic ability. But there isn’t a quick mind here, he doesn’t see everything a top tier QB does whether it is coverage or pass rush based. After a long time scouting him, he is a pass for me.

NFL Comparison: Ryan Tannehill / TEN

https://www.bigblueinteractive.com/2022/04/14/new-york-giants-2022-nfl-draft-preview-edge/

3: Kayvon Thibodeaux – Oregon – 6’4/254

Grade: 83

Summary: Junior entry from South Central Los Angeles. Three-year starter that came out of school as a topflight, 5-star recruit and delivered. Earned 1st Team All-Pac 12 honors all three years, won the 2020 Morris Trophy, and landed on both the 2020 and 2021 All American squads. Thibodeaux has a long, explosive frame that can bend in and out of small creases with tremendous power and strength. His lockout game combined with a strong initial burst consistently gives him initial positional advantages on blockers. Sometimes, that alone is good enough as he can work through the shoulder of a blocker with consistent ease whether he is rushing the passer or defending the run. He is equally productive against both. Where Thibodeaux struggles, however, is when he is matched up against pro-caliber size and power when it comes to secondary rush moves. He needs to show more technique refinement and continue to try and strengthen his base, which plays small and gets too narrow at times. His lack of body control will cause issues as well when it comes to reaction-based action. His tool set is top shelf, but he is far from a finished product and will need to fix a lot prior to being labeled a dependable player.

*I am going to try and not make this too long because the Thibodeaux fans get really offended, really easily. First off: I have 800+ grades on my master sheet along with another 400+ “training camp body” labels. Thibdodeaux is in the top 15. So yes, I do like him, and I do project him to be a very good football player in the NFL. A starter with high, sky-high, upside. There is some Harold Landry in his game. That said, I do not see him being the All-Pro or even perennial Pro Bowl type. When it comes to the “effort” shortcomings, this is NOT a guy that walks up and down the field. He does NOT play with the “I don’t care” label. There is more to effort than sheer hustle, however.

My issues with Thibodeaux revolve around what he did against his best competition. If he lost initially, if he got locked on to, I did not see the secondary moves. I didn’t see the secondary wiggle to try and re-gain a position. The contrast between him and the other top 5 edge guys in the class in that department is obvious. He also had too many dumb penalties. When it isn’t easy for him (he matched up against some awful OTs), he got frustrated and immature. He didn’t pin his ears back and elevate his game. To me, that is effort and mental toughness that just isn’t there. It is a crucial, borderline vital trait to playing the edge.

That is where I left it with him. And then hearing how he talks about himself and a contract. I have a saying “…he works at his craft like he is above it all already…” simply rubs me the wrong way. Enough that I would be too nervous to use #5 or #7 on him with the other guys available. That is all.

https://www.bigblueinteractive.com/2022/04/14/new-york-giants-2022-nfl-draft-preview-edge/